My Examined Life

I'm not in the mood of writing out exactly what's going through my mind. It's strange. I should mention that I now know that things are really over and I'm really trying to move on. It's tough and it's a very strange feeling because I have this guilty feeling of letting go of the person who's really changed my views about living and who opened a door to accepting my emotions. Therefore, I felt like I should write one of my journal entry from when the relationship started and when it ended  for me . I don't know if this would help me move on or if it will make things difficult, but I know it's something that I want to do. 11 February 2018 (The Start) So I should mention that I'm now in a relationship with T. He's what I like to call beautiful boyfriend. BB. BB and I are good together. I still find the concept of being in a relationship strange, but he's who I desire. What I desire. It's been taking me some time to accept him as a...

I was listening to a podcast from TED Radio Hour: NPR, The Person You Become and got me thinking about a lot of things. I might be thinking about this relationship or should I say this situation of mine too much. It's not just him that I'm thinking about. It's also myself. At first, I would wonder what could have I done differently? Did I do something wrong? How can I fix this? It was all me, is what I thought. Then it later moved on to perhaps accepting(?), but I felt or realized that there is nothing I can do.  We want to believe that the choices we make are right, but there's no way of knowing if the choice we make as we go on through life, small or big, are right. But we want to know. We hope that we make the right situation or we regret it. We question ourselves all the time because it's never consistent. At least, that's how it feels for me.  I think that's what's hard for college students. It's almost like we're back at a blank ...